15 minute study

 Newsflash:

In a stunning reversal the Incredibly Obvious Group(IOG) released a shocking study:

30 years ago the crime rate was much higher.  30 years ago most video games were no better than Pong.  Space Invaders and Pac Man did not even exist.  Since 1993, violent crime as measured by victim surveys has fallen by 57 percent and property crime by 50 percent.  In 1993 Doom was first released.  Clearly the advent of violent first person shooters has dramatically lowered the national crime rate. 

 

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_computer_and_video_games 

http://usinfo.state.gov/eur/Archive/2005/Sep/29-519328.html 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doom

  

This new study has lead many to call for dramatic changes to school cirriculum.  Said one official, “We must add Doom to the classroom.  A few hours of playing Doom now will pay off in the future.  Once our children become proficient in Doom and other first person shooters, we can rest easy.”  Congress is already considering a new bill called “No Game Left Unplayed”.

 

Brought to you by FNN (Fake News Network)

Advertisements

Fun with Numbers

Newsflash:

Today a new study released by the Incredibly Obvious Group(IOG) showed that over %90 of NFL players at one time watched Monday Night Football in high school.  Local school board leaders quickly leapt into action.  Declaring a move to make Monday Night Football are requirement for all high school football players.  Said one official, “It only makes sense.  It is the right thing to do.  After all it is for the children.  And the numbers bear it out.”

Another study released by IOG showed that over %90 of violent teenage boys have played a video game that has some form of violence in them.  Every politician up for re-election quickly leapt into action.  Declaring a move to ban or censor all games that didn’t happen to contribute to their campaigns.  Said one official, “It only makes sense.  It is the right thing to do.  After all it is for the children.  And the numbers bear it out.”

Brought to you by FNN (Fake News Network)